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By Burt Michaels, Class of  2019

A four-city trip to Europe, but no time to plan— we’ll just find great tours like those at CAC. Right?

Amsterdam was our first stop. We saw “Free Amsterdam” tours everywhere, but they had dozens of guests and no GTS. We opted instead for a nonprofit outfit with volunteer docents, Mee in Mokum.  Their user-friendly website listed six public tours for $7, but they were all sold out. So they set up a 2 ½-hour private tour just for us, for $25.

Our docent was affable, but lethargic. He started out explaining how our hotel had been converted from an historic church, which we’d already heard from our bellman. Then we wandered along the canals, seemingly at random, while he pointed out quirky details. With persistence, I dragged some info from him, but after an hour we cut out and hopped on a boat.  Ten dollars for an hour cruising the canals: balmy weather, beautiful views, canned audio, and lots of little drawbridges.

Next stop Berlin, where our focus was the Holocaust—no tours needed. But  for a break we went to Sans Souci, a rococo summer palace in nearby Potsdam. We let our concierge talk us into a pricey private tour, which  involved  another unenthusiastic docent and  another misfit agenda. We’d have done better taking ourselves there by train.

In Prague we found a one-man business, Living Prague, offering a 2-hour tour for $25 per person.  This guide knew his stuff. We could actually see architectural history: how engineering and styles evolved from Roman to Gothic, Renaissance to Baroque, on to 19^th and 20^th century historic revivals. For 90 minutes he was spellbinding. But then he got onto his own obsession–Prague Modernism. He dived into arcane details, architects, dates, and extra walking. Finally, after 2 ¼ hours, we collapsed at a café and drank.

In Vienna, I was skeptical about the free walking tours that leave hourly opposite the main tourist office.  Our guide explained the business plan: pay nothing upfront, tip what you want at the end. She joked how she’d give us such a great tour that we’d go broke and make her rich. She led us up to a breathtaking viewpoint overlooking six centuries of Hapsburg palaces and the Staatsoper, about which she told stories both amusing and sad. We then went to a WWII memorial that she introduced as controversial, then deconstructed why in scathing detail. She didn’t shy away from terms like racism, and she made clear why it enrages her.

In the palace complex, she never mentioned a single date, architect, or ruler. But she always pointed out the dominant motif in the Baroque trim—Power. She was funny, citing haphazard siting like windows that didn’t line up, and statues on Heroes Square of rulers who’d lost their wars. Then she turned nearly tearful relating how Hitler took power there before throngs of cheering Viennese.

We cut over to quiet medieval streets, to stories about Mozart and wine bars. The tour ended after precisely two hours. Thirty in our group, we all waited in line to pay our awesome docent, and I wished I’d taken a “Free Amsterdam” tour.

Back home, I wrote myself a note:

(1) Enthusiasm matters

(2) Honesty matters

(3) Motifs matter more than facts

(4) Ending on time matters.

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