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This is the final Short Tales for 2024. To continue this feature in 2025, we need your help. All of us—docents, exhibit hosts, education guides, guest services—have stories that have been delightful, demanding, disastrous, and disappointing. So don’t forget your strange, funny, and enlightening tales!  Share your “short tale” with Jill Carlson at an***************@gm***.com. We will look forward to hearing from you.

These Short Tales include widely different experiences. Claudia Winkler (2007) describes a river cruise experience with a water level problem. Bill Page (2001)  has an interesting encounter with Ken Burns. Ellen Shubart (2006) presents a look at a river cruise in Washington, D.C. Amy Kunz (2020) gets acquainted with Malort on a pub crawl tour. Dan Jares (2017) gets his current events in a novel situation. Cynthia Bates (2016) relates a unique musical river cruise.

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HIGH WATER/LOW BOAT
by Claudia Winkler, Class of 2007
About 8 years ago, I was doing a Friday morning river tour.  It had been raining for several days.  Fortunately for this tour, it was just grey, no rain.  But while we were on the main branch going west, the MWRD let out a lot of water into the river.  We were on one of the small, high boats and as we approached the confluence, a deckhand came up and said that the water level had risen way too high for us to get under any of the bridges going north or south.  He also said we would be going into Lake Michigan – which was a first for me.  I told the people on the boat the news and continued with my tour going east until we got near the MI Avenue bridge at which time, the captain asked everyone (about 40 on the boat) to please come to the front of the boat to weigh it down so that we could get under the MI Ave bridge!!   I did mention that was a first for me, but everyone loved doing what the captain asked us to do.

We got to the lock, and as we were waiting for the water to rise, I told everyone about buildings we could see from there, and to fill some time, I asked several times if anyone had any questions.  Unfortunately, the St. Regis wasn’t there or I certainly wouldn’t have run out of things to say.

While we were in the lock, I kept wondering if we would go north or south.  That was a wasted effort because as soon as we left the lock and were in Lake Michigan, we immediately turned around and went back into the lock because the captain had to get back to the dock for the next tour.  I fully expected everyone to demand a refund.  Much to my surprise, when people disembarked, they were all saying what a great experience it had been and no one seemed at all unhappy.  And no one realized how much architecture they missed seeing and hearing about on the north and south branches!  As Shakespeare said, “All’s well that ends well!”.

 

TAUCK TOUR EXPERIENCE
by Bill Page, Class of 2001
Back when Must-See Chicago was pretty new, CAC was included as a key part of a Chicago tour partnership with Tauck and Ken Burns. I jumped at the chance to join in, since I’d very much enjoyed being on some Tauck tours (I’ve now taken over a dozen) and seeing numerous Ken Burns films (and meeting and chatting with him once). So Roy Slowinski and I got to lead busloads of Tauck tourists on Must-See Chicago, which at the time included an L ride and wrapped up at the Water Tower. Everything ran so smoothly, with the buses meeting us on time, in the right place, at both start and finish, that my only story was the thrill of the experience itself.

 

D.C. DISAPPOINTMENT 
by Ellen Shubart, Class of 2006
On vacation in DC for week, we signed up for the river cruise — cruising the Potomac River from the Wharf area to Georgetown, followed by a walking tour. Well, it turns out the “tour” is actually on a water taxi, and the tour was recorded. That might have been okay except the tape and the trip were evidently not synchronized.  For example, the taped voice pointed out the Jefferson Memorial while we were just pushing off from the dock, something like talking about 150 Riverside Plaza while in front of the Wrigley Building. When the boat finally caught up with the narration, it was at the Georgetown dock, and as we disembarked, it began reciting the same tour again! How I longed for our river cruise with real people talking about real buildings at the right time for you to see them. 

 

POUR ME ANOTHER
by Amy Kunz, Class of 2020
Ellen and I started our Andersonville Pub Tour last night, but the weather shut us down by the second pub stop.  We gave a ‘”last call” there because even though we were having fun with our group, we didnt want anyone to get struck by lightning…even for the good cause of learning local history and drinking some more.

At that last stop, one of the tour guests was shocked that I had lived in this city for 11 years and never tried Malort.   I said, well with all the horrible things I have heard about it, why would I?   

He promptly ordered a shot and said I could taste it and if I hated it, he would drink the rest. Well, that’s exactly what happened. Wow, it’s bad.  As he poured our tour guests’ shot, the bartender poured himself a shot per the Malort rules. He did finish his.  So yeah, I won’t be having Malort again anytime soon, but it was fun to experience it on our pub tour.

Like any good nerdy docent, I started reading more about Malort and found out it has a Swedish connection!  So it was pretty fitting that my first shot of it was done in Andersonville.  

 

WHAT DID I MISS?
By Dan Jares, Class of 2017
Many of us have had experiences of “I remember exactly where I was when I learned….”  I was giving the Frank Lloyd Wright in Oak Park tour at 1:00 on Sunday, July 21.  It turned out to be one of those moments for a couple of reasons.  First, of the 11 people taking the tour, none was from the United States.  That was a first for me.  Second, as we were gathering and chatting, one of the men made a comment about Biden dropping out the presidential race just an hour or so before.  I had not heard the news–and now I was learning it from someone who was not from our country!  I’ll always remember that particular tour now.

 

MAGICAL MUSIC MOMENT
by Cynthia Bates, Class of 2016
A number of times as I have been chatting with passengers before boarding, one of them tells me a member of their party has a birthday that day, and can we please sing Happy Birthday afterwards. I’m happy to oblige, although I tell passengers as we are about to start, I can’t carry a tune, and would someone with a decent voice please lead us.

Yesterday a group of Germans from Berlin asked if we could sing Happy Birthday to their friend Ulrike. After the cruise, we got started in a wobbly and off- key way. Then a young man in the front row stood up and told me- Please give me the mic and I can lead everyone. So I did. And in a fine tenor voice, he sang Happy Birthday in German, at near operatic levels of volume and technique.

I talked to him afterwards and learned he wasn’t German at all—just fluent in German and French. Not a professional singer either- he said he was an (obviously very talented) architect. 

The German tourists were amazed, and one of them apparently thought I had orchestrated the entire thing.) Ulrike was delighted and said she would always remember this birthday. 

As for me, I think the young man was a true Heldentenor (heroic tenor) – a technical term for a singer with a powerful, dramatic voice specializing in Wagnerian roles like Siegfried, but in this case simply a hero.

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